A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment,they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk,the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.”
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, “I’ve got …

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says “This is great! Will I meet her at a party or what?” “No,” says the psychic, “next term in her biology lesson.”
* * *
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!” he cried out.
However, before the …

A farmer rushed to his phone one day to report that his nearest neighbor’s house was on fire. He promptly called 911 to report the fire. In the calmest voice he could muster, he reported the fire was at his neighbor’s house two miles down the road. The dispatcher asked “How do we get there?” The farmer hesitated a few seconds then asked “Don’t you, guys, have those big red trucks anymore?”
* * *
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in …

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went upon the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my …